Proverbs 3:5 " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight."
I used to let others control everything I did. Even as an adult I let others make decisions for me instead of making my own. Then it became necessary for me to take control of my life and I took on all responsibility for myself and others. At this time I did not pray or turn to God when I was stressed out and at my wits end. I suffered migraines and complete exhaustion most of the time. Nothing seemed to be going right and I did not know what I was going to do. One night I just came completely unglued and cried for what seemed like forever. I finally talked to God and told him that I was done, I could not continue the way I was, I felt alone and deserted. I felt I had no one to turn to. I couldn't go to my other siblings because I was the oldest and I did not want to burden them with my petty complaints. I had promised myself to do things for myself without any help and I wasn't ready to give that up. But in my despair there I was begging God for help.
When there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, reasoning doesn't help much.These are the times when most people rely on prayer. When a miracle is needed most, then we pray.
That night as I slept I felt at peace....the next morning the problems and challenges were still there but I wasn't worried about them. I stopped "reasoning" my problems out and instead I began praying about them. My body had paid the price for all the worry and anxiety I had been putting myself through. I was no longer able to do all the things I used to do. I prayed for a year before I retired because I was thinking that if I could just hold out a little longer I would make a better income but in praying God showed me that the money did not matter....what mattered was that it was time to let go and do something else with my life. So I retired in 2016 at the age of 64.
I did not reason with God.....I trusted him instead.....it was the best decision I ever made. My health has improved and even though I cannot do everything I want to I am in better shape than I was when I retired and blessed beyond measure.
Prayer:
God, I admit I am still a "work in progress" and far from perfect. But I will continue to pray and trust in you, to show me the path I should take. Help me to always seek you first, in the name of your son, Jesus, I pray your will be done. Amen
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