"I am who I am…."

"I am who I am, that’s all I can be….

If you can’t accept that you can’t accept me."

Through the years this  little ditty has changed because of the life experiences I have gone through in my soon to be 74 years, but most of all because of my relationship with God.

My mother was the ‘fixer’ of the world. She taught me and my sister growing up that we were  the  next ‘fixers’ of the world. If something went wrong it was up to us to ‘fix’ it.

But when my dad from died from cancer I felt God had let me down. Where was he when I needed him most? So I stopped talking to him for a very long time, then my mom died and my sister and I were lost.

But I still wasn’t talking to God…..I was still mad at him for all the mess we were going through. Then one day a co-worker named Jose  asked me out and even though I was determined to say No, the word Yes came out of my mouth!

Every day from then on before we started work he would say, Today is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24. We have been saying this every day for the last 14 years.

That’s when my life changed completely. Have we had difficulties….yes….but my attitude toward the difficulties has changed. Why? Because I know that no matter what, God has my back.

There were a lot of years of silence between God and me but now there is a continuous conversation daily. And I would not have it any other way, so…

I am who I am, that’s all I can be…

I was created by someone greater than me….

Someday I will be who I was created to be….

Prayer:

God thank you for your patience and understanding. Thank you for always being there even when I would not acknowledge you. Thank you for loving your stubborn child and never giving up on me. All the praise and glory are yours now and forever. Amen

Bernice Barnes