I have been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks and to tell you the truth I'm still at a loss for words. I have been praying for guidance and direction and I have received some but I'm still not sure of a lot of things.
Lately when I get ready to sleep my mind starts it normal array of thoughts....what's my next crochet project....should I make hats???...maybe scarves???...I know I'll make prayer shawls.....no maybe a baby blanket .....maybe book marks!!!....yeah I'll make bookmarks!! .... no maybe leg warmers......then I think maybe I'll write more.....but what will I write about???? injustice???? equality???? the topics become endless and at this point my brain is getting exhausted.
Then the past creeps in.....quietly trying not to be noticed.....just clips of past mistakes.....past promises not kept......
past actions gone horribly bad......fear....dread.....self-loathing begin to edge their way into my mind.....suddenly I feel sad and depressed and frankly a little bit scared......
Then just before I cave in to these thoughts I tell myself....."this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24.....next I recall Psalm 23:1-3 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...." Last but not least Psalm 23:4-6 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil...." These simple verses from the bible calm me right down and allow me to fall to sleep without any fear or distraction. They somehow clear my head and calm my breathing and restore my heart beat to normal. Funny how just some simple words can do all of this.
Now some people will say I did this solely on my own by just focusing on something else, and that may be true. But if it is true why didn't it work when I was running ideas and projects through my head??? Why did my mind wander off to a dark place and not turn back??? I believe that when I focus on God rather than material things and things I cannot control in my life that my spirit is lifted and my body is restored along with my mind. Believing in something greater than yourself whether that is an inner energy of the universe, or a spiritual being, or the cosmic powers around us....believing there is something greater than ourselves and more wonderful than this world we are currently living in is Hope....plain and simple.....Hope.
Sometimes we do not see who we really are.....make that most of the time. We do not see the huge potential that is in us because we are so busy trying to be who we want to be not who we can truly be. Some of us were made to be famous......some wealthy.....some highly intelligent.....all of us have different talents within us. Some are meant to be entrepreneurs....some are meant to be teachers and doctors or nurses.....some bus drivers, cab drivers, air plane pilots, or train engineers.......but regardless what we do in life we are all the same.....we all have talents we haven't even discovered yet! The point is that we have to believe in them and use them to the fullest. This is not an easy thing to do especially when you aren't really sure what that talent may be.
Several people tell me I have a talent for writing.....maybe they are right, I do like writing, but I'm still not positive it's what I'm meant to do.Especially when I have weeks like the past few ones where I am at a total loss on what to write! But that doesn't stop me from trying. Why not you say??? Well, because people around me keep telling me that I can write and that what I have to say is important and that if I keep it all inside those who would profit most from reading it won't get the chance to.
So I keep going.....doing what I do, crocheting, praying, and writing. I put it in God's hands because it says in Jeremiah 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." I start every day with this verse because it is my Hope. Plain and simple......Hope.
That is why I write......to give people hope ....where ever they are....what ever they are going through.....whatever their circumstances.....Hope that this is not the end but a new beginning to something greater than they ever expected. Believe in you inner voice....trust in prayer......believe in the one who is greater than the universe....believe in Hope. Until next time God bless you and protect you.
댓글