Fountain Within

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4: 13-14

I don’t usually talk about my struggles with anyone except God. Most of the time I just ignore them and toss it off as getting older…..Well, one night Jose asked me if I wanted to go to a recovery meeting with him. We haven’t been to this meeting in over a year and even though I really didn’t want to go I said yes. Now the reason I did not want to go was because I have been struggling with being around groups of people.

Well, we went and right away I had difficulty just walking up the ramp to get into the building. Jose had to help me, but we made it in. There weren’t many people there but I started to feel unsteady so I sat down. Then I felt ok, not great but ok. We ate pizza and I had some coffee and the meeting began. I started feeling ok which was different because by this time I would normally be out the door headed home! I felt safe and at peace for some odd reason but I just enjoyed it.

We were there for almost 2 hours! I was amazed so before we left I went to one of the leaders and thanked her for making this time so peaceful for me. I explained how I have been struggling with this anxiety for quite a while and she wrapped her arms around me and prayed over me! She prayed for my release from the evil spirit that was trying to harm me and said I was protected by God and all his angels and they would not let me be harmed. She prayed for protection over me in Jesus’ name and at that moment I felt a warmth come over my entire body and I felt a peace I cannot explain.

And this morning I woke up feeling the same peace that I experienced last night….God is always with us and he puts people in our paths to remind us we are not alone….Thank you God and thank you Melissa for reminding me that I am not alone and I have the spirit and the power within me to push away bad spirits. I have a “Fountain within”.

I still fight with the anxiety but not nearly as much as before. I still am not physically able to do all that I want to do but little by little I can enjoy my life more and more. God is healing me and guiding me and protecting me. But like Jesus said when the devil tempted him to jump off the cliff “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Matthew 4:7

I will not put God to the test.

It may sound crazy but this is my story and I promised God I would tell it……Amen

Bernice Barnes